IHOOT – I had one of those

UPDATED:

I figured I’d see if I could list all the motor vehicles I have owned – with pictures – for Alex. The pictures are stock web pictures (apart from the Supra and the MZ – which are mine). I didn’t take pictures of all of the vehicles I owned, and do have some regrets.

I wouldn’t have written this blog, but after a few moments thought I realised I have owned a fair few vehicles – so well worth a blog entry!

Honda H100

I started out with a Honda H100 motorbike. I had this for a while before getting my drivers license. It was a nippy 2 stroke 100cc bike whose engine blew up twice. I holed the piston by using the wrong petrol…. in other words I used the fuel recommended by the idiots at Motorcycle city specifically for that bike when I bought it (new).

Austin Mini 1000 (in baby poo brown)

I have vague recollections of what order I bought these vehicles in. Once I had passed my driving test I ran cars and bikes at the same time.

As with a lot of people at the time I started out on the driving route with a Mini.. an Austin Mini in baby poop brown… It was slow and sluggish… and I never got a chance to drive it as I owned it to learn in, but had to sell it before I got my licence. I found out why it was slow though… it had rusted out under the front floor pans, so the previous owner put in some bin bags and filled in cement over the top!

1275GT Mini – Great fun!

I liked the idea of the Mini, so after I passed my test I bought a souped up 1275GT from my nephew. Just because they are family doesn’t mean you should trust them…. This Mini 1275GT had a fibre-glass bulkhead where the old one had rotted out and a gearbox that had been put together by a chimp. It held together for a while – in fact my first trip out once I got my licence was into London at night in the rain. It had an odd trick of filling the rear bumper with un-burnt fuel…. now and then it would back fire on a down change and the rear end would light up like an old fashioned camera flash!

It died one day when they poorly rebuilt gear mechanism decided to punch out of the gearbox case and empty its oil everywhere… So ended my Mini adventure…

With no lessons learnt about the Austin/Leyland range of cars I went and got an Austin Metro… I bought it from Yorkshire under the instruction of my then brother-in-law. He was an Army mechanic, so what could go wrong?

I left Yorkshire and didn’t even get to a motorway. The engine died. Brother-in-law came out and towed me back to his place where we proceeded to pull the engine out at the side of the road. New piston rings, re-ground valves… and good to go! All on the roadside….

Austin Mini Metro – Not a boat

The fun didn’t stop there. The petrol tank developed a leak because the metal was so old and porous. I decided it needed welding, but not being an idiot I figured it needed to vent for a while before any work was done to it. I drilled a hole in the bottom of the car and put a metal fuel can in the boot. I then fed a fuel pipe to the engine from the can in the boot. This enable me to open up the cars fuel tank to vent until I got around to repair it.

One day during some floods in the South East I had to stop as the flood water was blocking my lane. The oncoming traffic flashed me to go around… and then decided to drive at me anyway! I had to move back into the flooded lane, where the car started to bob around…. I floated into a ditch and slowly sunk. The water came 12″ up inside the car and the funny thing was that the fuel gauge started to fill up as the tank filled with flood water as I sank! Luckily there were some Gurkha’s out in an Army Land Rover. Great guys towed me to safety. I cleaned the points and the engine started up with no problem! The car was pretty wrecked in general, so it went off for scrap in the end.

Bullet proof Honda CB100

During the Metro days I also had a Honda CB100 that I had bought from a neighbour. Typical bullet proof Honda! One day I had it steaming at 80mph and the engine seized on me. The wheel locked up, so I grabbed the clutch and coasted to a halt. I left it to cool for a few minutes and it started up again. Brilliant!

Astra/Bedford van

With the Metro gone I needed new wheels – or at least wheels that worked. I bought a Vauxhaul Astra Mk2 van in white. It was a shed, but it was a laugh! I used it a fair bit shifting equipment for a band I used to help out. Funny story with this shed was when I was working the Night Shift at Dan Air. At around 5am I was on my way home and I was stopped by the Police. I was a young kid at the time, so they were a bit suspicious at the time I was out on the road. They looked over the van and told me I needed new tyres. A few hours later I picked up a nice set of alloys from a breakers yard. I had no time to fit them, so into the back of the van they went until the next day when I could fit them.

Mk3 Escort – Smoking Steering wheel

After the next shift I was driving home and second day on the trot the Police pulled me over. They looked over the van and asked me to open the back…. where a lovely set of alloys were sitting – too nice for this old van! I had to explain that I was pulled the night before and bought these to fix the problem…and I was so sorry that I was driving on the old tyres as I really should have changed them before driving again. They let me off as they saw I was trying to do the right thing!

I went from the van to a Mk3 Ford Escort that I part exchanged with one of the guys I was an apprentice with. It was a pretty good car in all – until it decided to blow oil out the top of the engine and smoke poured up and around the steering wheel! I had to drive home Ace Ventura style, hanging out of the window!

Suzuki GSX250E – Glasgow tedium

I was pottering around on a Suzuki GSX250E at this time. A great solid bike that I bought from a guy at my work. Yes, not something you’d want to do normally, but in this case it was a great buy. He used to buy up and rebuild these Suzi’s, so I figured I was in safe hands. I only sold it when I changed to a bigger

bike – but until that day it didn’t skip a beat. I rode all the way to Glasgow and back at 75mph (once more helping a band out). Not a great looking bike, but faultless.

Polo… No hole. Poor pun.

The Escort went on its merry way and was replaced by an old VW Polo Formel e. The worst that could be said about this was it was brown and smoked like a steam train. Pretty economical and practical, but not much of a story. Funniest thing was the rear wash/wipe squirter jet. I rigged it to squirt the passenger. No idea why, but it was quite funny….

Honda CB500T (Rude Dog)

My bike needs lead me to a Honda 500T. This was nicknamed Rude Dog because of the way the licence plate looked (RHO 660P or something). I had loads of fun with this! Some of the girls I knew loved me taking them out on it as it went like stink, and being a twin cylinder had a great thumping engine (I guess they liked the sound……). I lost the Dog when I had to trade it to get a car fixed. The guy stitched me up, so before any paperwork was done I stole her back (it was still in my name, and no work had been done on my car – it was an all out rip off deal). I then sold her on to a guy who wanted to do a restoration. When I sold it on I had to sell it with no fuel tank, as some butt munch had stolen it!

The car/s Rude Dogs sale money went on for repairs were both Ford Mk3 Cortina Estates. I bought one and thought it was great fun, then a second one turned up a little later so I bought it for spares. In the end I used the first one for spares for the second one. I recall one story that a girlfriend at the time needed to get home, but it was raining. I didn’t really want to drive as

Ford Cortina Mk3… I owned two!

the Cortina was out of tax. I had a real bad feeling that night, but I couldn’t let her walk in that weather (it was bad). I was getting tax for it the next day, so figured I might get away with it… but to belt and braces the situation I grabbed Rude Dogs tax (which expired the next day). As I drove my girlfriend home I saw a guy jump into the road….. a Policeman with a speed gun. I was a little over the limit, so they decided to do a full check on the car.

Now bear in mind I had just got the car – the paperwork hadn’t fully gone through. I was stood at the side of the road with the Police sorting it all out. As you should do, I kept the talking simple and polite. The check went well and I was sent on my way…. but as I went to pull away the officer tapped my window and pointed at the tax disc….. and pointed out that it would expire the next day – so “keep an eye on that“…. JEEEZ!!! I was lucky there – and yes… the next day all the taxes were sorted out!

This was the first car I had that someone tried to steel. They smashed the lock and broke the ignition barrel… which was crazy, as I had forgotten to lock it and the keys were on the passenger seat! Even after the thieves had smashed into it, they couldn’t get it to start! Muppets!

CX500 – the underdog that barked

The first bike I chopped was a Honda CX500. It was an MoT failure I picked up cheap. The rear suspension was shot to heck, so I hard tailed it, raked out the front end and made a new seat and panels for it from scratch. I am upset that I never took a photo of it – it was a really nice bike – Midnight blue and had great lines. I enjoyed riding it around, but had to get rid of it in the end due to house moves and money. If you ever get one, keep an eye on the oil/water seal, and ALWAYS get it fitted at a garage, because when it goes wrong being fitted (and it will go wrong), at least they will have to replace it for free – and it is an expensive seal! The photo isn’t mine – but it gives an idea of what mine looked like… although mine was lower at the back.

Yes… that’s me on my chopped MZ250 ETZ

Next along was the MZ250 ETZ. It cost me £50 and was a heap of crap! I ripped it apart, lowered it, chopped it and painted to look like an old Russian Army bike… I’ll give it its due, it went like stink – but it was less than comfy as I had hardtailed it! MZ’s were laughing stocks, so I never intended for it to be taken seriously – but so many people thought it was some old classic Soviet machine it got beyond a joke!

The MZ was joined by a cheaper form of transport – an old Honda C90. It didn’t last long, but did what it had to do for a while… until it simply died! I ride that around two up with a buddy of mine. We’d go to gigs and all sorts – it was a laugh, but a bit on the scary side as anyone who has ridden one will know! The C90 was the second bike that some thief had a go at. They couldn’t break the steering lock though, so I fond the bike 50 yards away in a bush. Gits.

The Honda 90 died and I robbed it to keep the MZ on the road…. yes… not a great idea, but I was into make do and mend! The MZ exhaust was shot away, so I swapped over the one from the C90. It didn’t work… It was a 4 stroke 90cc pipe going on a 250cc 2-stroke….. and it choked it so badly it would only do 22mph….. I cut the end off of the pipe to reduce the choking effect… and then I started to remove the baffles… and eventually the MZ was going pretty quickly.

The C90 – Who hasn’t?

The day I did the exhaust mod I had to go into Guildford (via country lanes) as a friend of mine was in a bad way. I rode off into the night and after 30 minutes the Police came up behind me and pulled me over. They said they had been looking for me for a while, but the bike was so noisy and the sounds were reverberating around the woodlands they had trouble finding me. It didn’t sound too loud from the saddle,

Volvo… that’s all….

but sure enough, as I stood behind it the din was incredible! I had pretty much put a megaphone on an already load bike! I had to turn around and go home to fix it – the Police just didn’t want me riding it further than I had to! Very understanding!

During this time I had a Volvo 360… yes, a biker with a Volvo! it was…. erm… rugged… did what it had to do… and was actually quite fun. Small, but with a 2l engine and rear wheel drive…. but it didn’t last long as the gear lever and box fell off…. pah! You get what you pay for with cheap cars!!!

The Undying Passat!

The Volvo was replaced by the crappiest looking car I had ever owned! The interior was a mess, the sunroof was a welded on metal panel… the panels didn’t match up… I bought it cheap from a great guy I was working with. He had used it to tow caravans over Europe. He had blown it up and fixed it in a way it wouldn’t break again! I had it with 186,000 miles on the clock and the engine was still tight as anything  – VW’s are one of the strongest cars I know. So well engineered.

This was the VW Passat Estate from Mad Max! It didn’t have a top speed as it just kept slowly getting faster and faster! It didn’t drink much fuel, it had loads of space, it was comfy… the only thing that killed it was the rear suspension collapsed. The car wasn’t worth repairing, so it was scraped.

Bad, bad car….. Very Bad….

This great car was replaced by the tidiest looking car I had owned up to that date… and by far the crappiest car I have ever owned – a Renault 5. I bought it as it looked tidy and would probably be a better thing to turn up at a girlfriends parents house in… as it was I lived next door to her and her parents, so they’d seen the Passat anyway (ha ha!). The Renault 5 was the worse handling, poor performing piece of junk ever! It felt unsafe, it just didn’t grow on me. My Brother in law bought it from me at a really low price under the knowledge that

Another great Honda – The XRV750 Africa Twin

I hated it and thought it had dire problems (I was very honest and fair). The brother in law didn’t really get a chance to experience these problems as some half wit thief stole it from him.

Somewhere in this mix I bought a Honda Africa Twin. I wanted a bike that would suit me as a 6’4″ male – and the Africa Twin was spot on. It deserves its own blog as I still own it – and I have had some great adventures on it – from deer hunting to drag racing a street racer on a Honda Fireblade at a Hells Angel event…. and winning!

Long and Low… the CB750 hardtail chop

At some point I had several bikes – and in that mix I had a genuine low rider chop based on a Honda CB750. A real bone shaker and tricky to ride. I just wanted to have owned one. It was a bit of fun, but not something I’d want to do a long trip on.

I’m now left with just the Africa Twin when it comes to bikes. I’m getting to the stage where I think the roads are no longer safe enough to go out on a motorbike on.

Range Rover – With Disco TDi lump

After the rubbish that was the Renault 5 I bought a Range Rover Mk3 with a Discovery Diesel TDi engine in it. What a great car! One of the best I have owned! Comfly, solid and pretty cheap to run actually… back then. I had to do a clutch change on the side of the road outside my house once. A friend helped me…. it was one of those jobs you really don’t want to do, but was a great experience all the same. We didn’t have the correct tools, so it was all done with blood and sweat! Had a scary moment in this car once as a BMW flashed me and pointed at the back wheel…. I had a puncture and didn’t even know!

A great car – Single turbo 3l Supra

I pulled over to fix it, but I had over sized wheels…. and the jack didn’t go high enough to lift the car! I had to use what ever I could find at the side of the road to build the jack height up! I loved that truck, but really got the hankering for a sports car… I was going to be starting a family, so I figured I wouldn’t get then chance to own a sports car again for a long time…. so along came the wonderful ‘89 Toyota 3l Turbo (single) Supra. A car I genuinely miss…. but a family was starting, so we had to get something else.

The Supra was a real bargain at a shade over £1000. Owned by an elderly lady who thought it looked nice. The whole car was immaculate and went like stink…. On a track it reached over 150mph with more to spare. I have  theory that sports cars are safer for every day use because they have better brakes, better handling and have power to get you out of trouble – I have never felt safer than when I was wrapped in that Supra. The Supra suffered a warped head (a standard problem – and one that had been missed on this one). I was on one final drive before putting it up for sale… I may have put my foot down a little… and I noticed the temperature guage start to

Zzzzzzzzz Toyota Carina zzzzzz

climb quickly. I pulled over immediatly and got dropped home on a breakdown truck. I sold the car as was – and got what I paid when a chap who races them bought it off of me. He was going to pull the head anyway, so wasn’t worried about that. Good news all round.

The Supra went, and in came the Toyota Carina…. It was a car. That is the best that can be said of it…. It was a car. It went… it stopped… Meh! It was so dull that you could park it in an empty car park and STILL forget where you parked it… and…and…. and yet it was still a million times better than the Renault 5. It went in favour of the more practical Bernie…

A Citroen Berlingo yesterday. Maybe.

“Bernie” as Chris calls the Citroen Berlingo is the longest serving of any of my cars. I don’t really like French cars, but Bernie has gone some way to changing my mind. Even Jeremy Clarkson rates it as a great car… and it is on the cool wall on Top Gear! Bernie can handle anything! I’ve moved beds in it! I’ve moved 3m decking planks in it… and unloaded it whilst still sat in the drivers seat! Alex loves it, Chris loves it… I… I think it is a Swiss army knife of a car – very practical and reliable (Oh I’ll regret saying that now….)

Ford Mundane-o…erm… Mondeo

Finally we move on to a couple of oddities… not really mine, but mine anyway… Company cars. I had a Ford Mondeo estate to start with (which fitted into the same category as the Toyota Carina….).

The Mondeo just wasn’t up to the task I was hired for, so after thorough research the Fiat Multipla Eleganza was purchased.

It was the face life model (thank the Lord!) and it was fantastic! It seated 6 easily and still had a massive boot space, yet was smaller externally than a Ford Galaxy.

Fiat Multipla… Brilliant. Gone.

In fact it was a bit like a Vauxhall Zafira on the outside and Mini-bus on the inside… the type of car Doctor Who would drive….. The handling was crisp and car like too – and it had a fair amount of get up and go. I really recommend one if you want an MPV… and once more, it is liked by Clarkson.

We are now left with Bernie, as the company cars went back when I changed jobs… and we need a second car. In a few years I’d like something a bit different – but in the meantime I need frugal and reliable… and that can only mean a VW. I’m thinking an old VW Golf Diesel… good economy and cheap to pick up.

All of these vehicles have lots of tales to tell – and maybe I’ll write them down now that I have opened up my memory by listing them…

More to follow… The 1 week Alhambra, the awesome that still is the Series 3 Land Rover and the…. Citroen Xsara Pigasshole.

Eye Opening America

My new job has lead me to be in America for a few days…(The photo’s are all HERE)

It’s my own fault really – I admitted to knowing about a product we are looking into, and also that I have Quality Engineering qualifications & experience. Next thing you know I’m sat on a British Airways Boeing 747-400 at Heathrow and chugging off down the runway to start the long haul flight to Seattle.

I had an idea that the trip was coming up, but I didn’t realise that it would be at such short notice. We had 3 working days to sort it all out – Transportation, Flights, Hotels – and all the various forms needed to do the trip.

I’ve not “done” America before – nor have I flown for more than 90 minutes – so no matter what the trip was about, it was going to be an adventure and learning curve. The only advice I was given was “Order small – don’t go for the medium or large meals” – So I took that info in.

I woke at 6am on Tuesday 12th May and went into work as per usual. Just before midday I went back home to meet up with the taxi that would take me and my work colleague (KM) to Heathrow.

The taxi ride was uneventful and we arrived at Terminal 5 with time to kill. We had booked in on line and also filled in all the immigration paperwork on-line. We only had hand luggage so went straight through check in and grabbed a coffee as we waited to be called. All very painless and smoothly done – T5 seems to have learnt a lot from the previous terminals.

At around 3pm (UK) we got comfy on the aircraft… well, as comfy as economy will allow a 6’4″ guy to be! Luckily we had booked ahead so we had seats in the rear of the aircraft where the body narrows, so instead of three abreast we had a double. It didn’t offer more legroom, but it did mean I could stretch out to one a bit due to a slight gap between the seat in front and the side of the aircraft. If you look at the picture You’ll see row 52. We were in the seats on the right (last but one row – I was window side).

We trundled off down the runway and started our trip up towards Scotland, then over Iceland, Greenland and on past Canada into America. Around 9 hours flight time…. and with an 8 hour difference in time we landed 1 hour after we took off….

The views were extraordinary – I’ve not seen anything like it before. Icebergs and frozen land masses bigger than you can imagine. I had to take a few photo’s to try and show those who haven’t done it before how great it is.

Eventually we get to Seattle at 5pm (1am UK) and 5pm. Now it was a case of finding the hire car company and driving a further 120 miles to Woodland PA where the motel I had booked was situated (I was a bit nervous about a few things with the motel…. Firstly, it was a motel… secondly, I had no real idea of what it was like, apart from a Googlemap Streetview that showed it right next to a motorway….).

The hire car was a Toyota Prius – A car that does what it has to do (don’t call it an eco-car… it’s far from being an eco-car). It was a bit weird to get into the wrong side of a near silent car and drive out on the wrong side of the road at what should’ve been 1am and dark out – but was actually now 5pm and bright sun… The Prius is an odd beast… No key as such, just a block you shove into a hole. You start it by pressing a button at the same time as the gas… then you burn a goat and select drive… and select drive…. and look for the handbrake… and try to select drive…. Look – we were tired and had never been in one before!

KM drove the 2hr trip down the I-5 to Woodland. The sun was out and we felt refreshed as we went past what would have been 2am and 3am in the UK…

Eventually after driving through some immense scenery we arrived at Woodlands WA at the Lewis River Inn. First glance was that it wasn’t on a motorway – just a normal wide American road… very wide. Probably called a lane out in America…. or a Motorway in the UK…..

After booking in we took our first look at the rooms…. or tried to. The electronic swipe cards didn’t work, so I went and changed them. They still didn’t work so KM went and changed them – This time a Motel person came up to the 2nd floor rooms to see if we were just being daft….

Using the new key cards my door opened up, but KM still had a problem…. a problem that was rectified by him walking a few strides to the left and trying the card in the correct door…. We were tired, okay?!

The room was huge…. Proper huge. So much bigger than a Holiday Inn or similar – looking at about twice the size. big TV, full size fridge (full size for the UK….) and a view… oh Lord what a view!

I had booked two balcony rooms overlooking the river. I thought if the weather was good I could sit out and read in the evening, or catch up with my work notes. I didn’t expect too much of a view – and was proven wrong! Great rooms, great views! Best place I have ever stayed in – and that is no word of a lie.

We dropped our bags in our rooms – splash of water on our faces and then went in search of food. The search lasted 30 seconds… Mexican restaurant across the street…..

I remembered to not order big helpings, and I am so glad I was told this advice. This picture shows KM tucking into his meal… It was just a regular meal…. I chose the Tres Amigos chile with three samplers of different dishes on it… HA!! these Americans obviously don’t know the difference between “SAMPLER” and “FULL BLOWN MEAL”, as I was given a plate like a dustbin lid with enough food for a small army…. or at least a family of 4 from Europe.

That night I saw the pillow but was asleep before I hit it… Over 25hrs since I had last slept had finally taken its toll on me.

On the second day on American soil we set about planning the audit. It was a wet day, so we started with a breakfast at Rosie’s Restaurant (www.rosiesrestaurantusa.com). This would become the daily haunt for our morning food – and on the final day it would provide me with my last big taste of America.

As with all the eateries we hit, Rosie’s had great service. It was fast and polite – You didn’t even get fully sat down before the iced water and coffee hit the table – and that never dropped below half a cup as it was always being topped up.

We did a little shopping in the local stores before heading back to the Motel to get to work on the audit notes. After we had completed that it was getting late, so we went for a short drive and then went for food. Nothing special on this night – just a burger at a chain burger restaurant – and although they were tasty they lacked a certain Americaness. The regular burger was the same size as a UK Big Mac…. and the Colossus Burger was… well, the same size again. Nothing eye opening about that at all.

The following morning we headed out across to the company we had to audit. I can’t really go much into that as it is business related, but I can say the company were very helpful and accomadating and went out of there way to make sure we had everything we needed. One guy (hey Dave!) also pointed us in the direction of a WalMart (so we could try a bit more Americana). After the days auditing we washed up and went off to WalMart to find out what the fuss was all about…

It had to be the first time I expected to see the curvature of the earth within one shop! The building was huge – and cheap. I guess with lower land prices it is easy to put out better prices and have larger shops. WalMart is pretty much a UK Tesco hypermarket, Homebase hypermarket, HM Supplies hypermarket, Halfords hypermarket etc all wrapped into one brand store…

Our evening meal at an American Restaurant (Oak Tree). A good sized meal with another American dish to finish off… Apple Pie. Let’s face it, we had a packed business trip, so I had to try and get as much as I could out of the limited downtime.

The final day we ate once more at Rosie’s – and as this was the last day I figured I’d see if Rosie’s would serve a burger up as a breakfast item… silly question really as they do. I saw they had no 1/4lb burgers on the menu – the smallest was a 1/3lb burger. Well… 1/3 is pretty big, but they also had 2/3lb burgers… the biggest was a double 2/3lb burger!  Yup… 1 1/3lb in one bun! I didn’t go for that as I wanted a single patty of meat instead of the stacked things that just fall apart. My answer was in a 1lb burger!!! It was the size of a UK dinner plate and full of a succulent burger with a great relish and salad. I had to cut it in half to eat it – so two 1/2lb parts! I managed the whole thing quite easily as it was so darn tasty!

Following on from breakfast we went to the company we were auditing to collect some more paperwork they were putting together for us. After a wrap up meeting it was time to head back to the airport. We had a few hours to spare, so we detoured off of the I5 and went via the recommended Mount Saint Helens as we made our way to Seatac airport (Once more – thanks to Dave for that pointer – much appreciated).

Mount Saint Helens… as it came into view it was awe inspiring. I’m afraid there really isn’t much to say… even the pictures do not do it any credit. All my senses just over loaded as we drove up the surrounding mountains to various parking areas with viewing points. Looking down 2,500ft to the roads and forests below just didn’t seem real – it looked like a diorama from a museum. The huge vastness of the whole area simply destroyed any perspective I had.

Our altitude was just insignificant as my mind had trouble getting around what it could see. In fact as we drove higher up it looked even more surreal. At one point we were stood on a brick wall 3,800ft over a valley and it didn’t seem to register! Pretty much overloaded with everything else to be worried!

At the furthest point of our detour we visited Coldwater Lake. This was another place that gave me a sensory over load. The place was not just quiet – it was silent. No telephone signals, no gift stores, no public… just us…No noise… nothing. No wind, no trees, no water burbling… just nothing. It’s so hard to even describe what total silence is like. You can’t put your fingers in your ears to experience it either, as you’ll hear the blood rushing and pulsing within your head…. nope…. Coldwater Lake was something else. A volcanic lake of the clearest green/blue melted ice water – It was beautiful.

As we carried on our trip to Seatac airport we stopped over for lunch at a Wendy’s. It was in the car park that I suddenly realised one of the things that had been playing on my mind for the whole trip…. the fact that there is a whole lot of sky. Everything is so spread out – even in the built up areas – that you are very aware of the unbroken views you had of the sky. It made the whole pace seem even bigger. Amercican cars, roads, homes etc may seem really big compared to the UK, but when it cames down to it they do not look out of place in America, where the roads, cars and homes look so very small compared to the environment they are in.

I cannot really explain my thoughts in one blog page – for once I am at a loss – but there was a final helping hand from the view out of the airliner window as we came in to land in England….

As we turned to land the altitude display in the seat in front of me showed we were at 3,800ft…. I took a photo out of the window and suddenly it clicked…. not 12 hours earlier I was stood on a brick wall at around the same altitude looking at Mount Saint Helens and down on the miniature forests and towns below…. The difference was that I was now in an aircraft with no ground under my feet… I had perspective… and we were damned high up. In the air above the UK the altitude made sense… the sheer size of the St Helens view focused a bit better…

As I had only taken a carry on bag with me I had very little room for gifts. All Chris wanted was a selected of candy that was very American and seen in movies – and for Alex it had to be a car!

A saviour of the trip was the fact I had my Mac with me. I set it up with Skype so I was able to talk to, and see, Chris and Alex back in the UK. It was using this that Chris told me about her viral infection… Her head had inflated over night and she was badly swollen, although by the time I got back it had gone down a fair amount.

The following day after my arrival back in the UK she took Alex out shopping whilst I slept in to try and catch up on sleep. I woke up as she came back in the house with a few of her friends from work… I woke to her calling upstairs that she had been in a car crash! The Berlingo had been smashed into at a junction – the fault was admitted by the other driver, but the car is not drivable now, and at this stage we have no idea if it will be repairable….. the insurance wheels are turning as I type…

Take one cat….

Kabooooom, originally uploaded by L.B.

Imagine a house that is a jumble of boxes….floor to ceiling…awaiting a phone call to say “The contract is clear…you can finally move house!!!”

Imagine a cat. Slightly daft, pretty darn big but with little brain.

So…it’s a couple of days from my birthday (hooray!) and Miew, my little prince of a cat (who takes up a whole double bed), decides to give me a present.

Now Miew looks like a cat, tries to do cat stuff, but is never quite as good at the balancing and chasing and catching as he is at the sleeping.

My present. A baby rat. Miew has caught it, and brought it into me. Then dropped it for me. But unlike a normal cat, this gift rat is alive. Very much so. Not even a bite mark.

It ran under all those stacked crates and bags…bugger.

A good hour later, with several misses, the rat is rounded up. I have my air pistol at the ready, as every time we almost get it within grabbing distance, it runs off. I don’t want a rat in the house and I don’t want to kill it – so it would be my last choice getting it cornered and shooting it, then moving everything out of the way and dispose of it.

Luckily I finally corner it (third attempt and the room is a wreck).

I put down a long cardboard tube with a folded up end, and Chris scares the rat so it runs towards and into the tube. I grab the open end of the tube and fold it over. Ratty is taken outside and released over by the garden shed.

House: A total bomb site.

Me and Chris: Knackered.

Miew: Wants love and attention for bringing me such a lovely gift.

I guess the blog about how I sold my Toyota Supra 3L turbo and bought a sensible baby friendly (boring) car will have to wait….Just wait until junior asks for his/her first car and moans that I only allowed them a sensible one…I had a Supra and now I drive a Citroén Berlingo. Mind you, by then even a simple hatch back basic model will probably put out 240bhp….and run on household waste.