Category Archives: TV

Doctor! Save us from the padding!!!

Question: How do you annoy a Dr.Who fan?
Answer: By not being one yourself.

I like Dr.Who, although I’m not blinded by it in such a way that I even like the crap episodes.

Each Dr.Who series has a plot start & end point. Actually it’s more like each regeneration of the Doctor has a plot start & end point. Like a jazz riff… You hit the first note & last note…. and in-between you just chuck in filler.

The episodes drip feed plot devices needed to reach the series end. Some episodes are just filler to enable a plot device to be mentioned, but are otherwise just long winded padding around a 5 minute key event.

For me, the best episodes are the ‘stand alone’ ones. Ones written for themselves, and not just because something HAS to be mentioned. The Neil Gaiman ‘Doctors Wife’ episode with the TARDIS in human form is one such ‘stand alone’ episode. It was fantastic – Best of the series.

Worst episode was the last one. Just a bringing together of all those plot devices (quite clumsy actually) just to reach the end point. It was so obvious though. We all knew the Dr was not being replaced, so he couldn’t die. As such we were all looking for how he was going to escape.

Little people in a morphing robot was a bit obvious. The episode they first appeared in was just crowbarred into the series to get a small plot device mentioned. You didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that this was going to come back.

It’s like bad movies that have the actor inexplicably talk about a seemingly random thing…. You just know it is because the plot needs it, and it’s a key element. What a lazy story that last one was. Just tidying up the pieces.

Mind you, some avid fans will be wearing the emperors new glasses, because no matter how poor an episode is, they’ll coo & cheer with glee at how absolutely wonderful it is. This makes me wonder if they fully appreciate the actual good episodes, or are too busy gushing over the fact it’s just Dr.Who…

A few good lines does not a good episode make.

Text & scones is all I got from that finale.

I’m going to get hate mail now!

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Ouch… I’ve fallen…

Whenever I see the advert for injury insurance with the woman who tripped on strapping, I can’t help but fill in the real words…

“As I walked across the warehouse with no other reason than to catch a sly glimpse of the new guy with the muscles, I saw some strapping like the stuff used to bind boxes laying on the floor.

As I’m not a cleaner and I didn’t leave the strap there, I stepped over it instead of picking it up… I mean, like, why should I? It’s not mine…

…Anyway, as I daydreamed about the new guy I went out of my way to look like I hadn’t seen the strap, because I didn’t want to pick it up, I caught my foot in it and stumble a little bit.

My manager ran over to see if I was okay, and it was at that point I realised my stumble must have looked worse than it was, and I saw £££££ in my future… so I milked it for all it was worth…”

Had an injury at work? Then 9 times out of 10 you were probably not looking at what you were doing…. Suck it up and take the blame.

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