Tag Archives: pussy

PLAYBOY: ‘No more nudes’

Yes, that’s right… Hefner has said there’ll be no more nudes in Playboy.

His reasoning is that the Internet has given access to all sorts of porn, 24/7, so it’s kind of redundant in his magazine anymore. Now it’ll be clothed models and in depth articles. I guess this does bring it off of the top shelf and allows the plain cover to be removed, giving it a wider audience.

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Thank … God?

Okay… there are a lot of links in this blog entry. They go some way to showing what is involved, and who is involved, in parts of the following tale…. It is quite a short write up, considering how deep I could take it… so please bear with me…

The Scene…

A lorry has a tyre blow out on a major busy road in a hilly area of the country.

The trailer slides across the Tarmac & hits a car.

The car is smashed off of the road and it ends up upside down at the roadside.

A little girl inside is seriously injured.

In seconds, the traffic has stopped & other road users are phoning in the accident. They use mobile phones that have been developed over time by countless thousands of engineers who can trace telephone technology back to people like Bell and Marconi – or in this case, Dr Martin Cooper of Motorola with the first mobile phone.

These engineers went to school, college & university to study. They were taught by countless more lecturers & teachers who spent their lives learning their vocational skills and also attending schools, colleges, universities etc to enable them to go on and educate others. The same is said of the people who trained these instructors and… well, it goes on and on. Thousands of people lead to the witnesses of the crash being able to phone emergency services.

Of course, the emergency services couldn’t be contacted if there was no telephone infrastructure in place, and also if there was no way to generate electricity to power the systems that allow for the phones to charge and for the entire grid of communications to operate.

Again we have engineers, scientists and the initial inventors to thank for harnessing the power of electricity, into making it possible to give all the houses & businesses the ability to power their equipment… and go in all of the cars, lorries, boats, aircraft and so on… that all need batteries to start/run their engines, motors & electrical systems. And again there are the instructors, lecturers etc that teach these skills to enable this resource to develop and operate safer & more reliably day after day…. and the people who taught the people to teach…

Thinking about it, those teachers need somewhere to teach… so we must remember architects, builders, plumbers (ooh, the Romans for their work on plumbing), electricians, carpenters, roofers etc… and all the people who taught them… and those that taught those that taught them… etc.

Oh Hell, mustn’t forget the workers (and those that died progressing their areas of employment, working to provide for our prior generations, and those to come) in foundries, mills, mines, quarries who supplied the materials to build the schools… And don’t forget the people who taught them…. and here we go again….

So far we have a witness calling for help over a mobile phone, and someone from the emergency services taking that call & passing it on the the relevant rescue services… and we have thousands and thousands of people who helped make that call take place…. So many people who are each owed something for what they brought to the table on this day, so to speak.

Wiltshire Air Ambulance

Rescue and emergency services head out to the crash site. The rescuers included countless Police to divert traffic & control the crash scene for starters. Then the ambulances & fire engines come along. Paramedics & firefighters to cut the victims from the wreck & give emergency aid to get them stable for the urgent ambulance helicopter flight to an airport so that the girl can be transferred to a faster aircraft to get to the hospital.

I've worked on this aircraft at GAMA - I'm part of this huge chain that helped.

Think of the technology, the training, the skills and dedication involved in all of this! Even down to the rescue services “Jaws of Life“… the hydraulic cutters used to remove the roofs off of cars to allow people to be removed from them safely…

Heck, we need to thank the ancient Greeks & Chinese for their initial work in hydraulics, and Blaise Pascal (1600’s) for his work in modern hydraulic principles, that eventually lead to generations of teachers training generations of engineers to eventually come up with, and make “The Jaws of Life”.

All of those emergency vehicles have engines that developed from steam engines to internal combustion engines… We owe Karl Benz for some of the first practical motor cars… Nikolaus Otto is to thank for coal/gas burning reciprocal engines.

Then there’s the gas turbine engine in the air ambulance helicopter… this goes back to Bernoulli and more practically, Sir Frank Whittle… Oh yeah, the helicopter goes back to Leonardo da Vinci… and the modem father is Igor Sikorsky.

The technology that went into making all of those car, lorry, helicopter systems etc… is owed to an impossible number of inventors, scientist, scholars, boffins…. teachers, foundry workers… and on and on….

Almost forgot Babbage & the calculating machine he created, or the first simple mechanical computer of Thomas Fowler in 1840! … or the many variations of the abacus… or the efforts at Bletchley Park with Alan Turing and Tommy Flowers… regarded as the fathers of modern computing… Without this line of thought & engineering, the computer reliant vehicles (ground and air) would not function… or be able to be designed…

Do I have to go into how many people have helped progress THIS side of technology! MILLIONS! Don’t forget all of those ancient mathematicians that developed theories, rules, formulas etc that allowed ANY engineering to take place… Archimedes, Aristotle, Pythagoras… some of maths many fathers…

So yeah… The little girl is cut from the car & her condition is stabilised. She is put in the helicopter & flown to the hospital (by trained pilots who have spent years training etc and so on… you know what I mean by now…).

She arrives at the trauma centre, which was an idea first established in the 1960’s by R Adams Cowley, and is rushed into surgery (developed from around the 1500’s by countless scientists and researchers in medicine)… and I think if you have half a brain cell, that you’ll know where this is heading….

Trained staff, technology, inventors, scientists, infrastructure, upper tier staff, lower tier staff, buildings, services…. allowing the paramedics, doctors, nurses & other specialists to save the little girls life, using equipment that has been developed over generations of medical and non medical research, by people whose names you can’t help but recognise, including the likes of Florence Nightingale, Marie Curie, Hannah Myrick, Louis Pasteur, Alexis Carrel and Henry Dakin, Joseph Lister…. the list is endless…. or at least it may as well be, because every branch of medicine or medical research was generated from a different branch, or developed into others…

Research has expanded and helped us… and with that expansion comes the need for more people to teach, to learn, to think, to progress…

Millions of people and their ancestors all helped

The above list doesn’t touch the surface of all of those that were involved in that one little girls life being saved, but as you can see, the human count in this pyramid that ends with that little girls life contains millions of unsung heroes. People who worked just to find answers. Some were imprisoned & forced to work. Some were slaves, some were kings & queens… All walks of life through the ages.

And then there’s the press who interview the parents after the girl has been saved…. and the parents… they turn to the camera and say into the microphone…

“Thank God our daughter survived…. We knew he was looking down on her all the time…”

No mention of the Doctors, the nurses, the pilots, the Police, the rescue and emergency services, the witnesses at the scene… let alone the millions in history that allowed it to all play out….

Even if you are religious, then sure, thank your God, but don’t forget the physical people who did all the hands on work.

If you do want to thank ‘God’….. Don’t forget one tiny little thing…

…Who do you think allowed the crash to happen in the first place?

Yes, you guessed it....

You live on the shoulders of millions who lived before you.

Don’t ever forget that.

Oh, and before you go and say “It’s all a test God has set us“… then please read THIS


What are you, CHICKEN?!?!

Splitter!!!!

Splitter!!!

Chris has gone off to write a more chickeny, horsey, pussy related blog for the family.

Here you can learn about buying and restoring ex-battery hens…. Hmmm, too much classic car work on my mind..

At CRISPYSNIPS.COM you can find out how to go about looking after hens at home. Yup, if you’ve thought about doing it, then Chris will tell you what’s involved and how to go about doing it.

There are lots of sites telling you in depth how to keep hens, but not a lot give you a basic run down up front to let you know what you are letting yourself in for!

Her site also has horse and cat related tips and advice, plus lots of other news and views from around Chris!

Go check it out!


Teenager with wet pussy

Go and redeem your self esteem! CLICK HERE!!!Really a live teenage girl with wet pussy

Tut, tut…

Now go get some self respect back and help out

HERE


Bird eat Bird

Spice, our lady cat, caught a sparrow.

It happens now and then – there are loads of them around and a cat could easily catch several just by running open mouthed down the garden… so no real shock there.

Last time she caught one I grabbed her, opened her jaw & the sparrow fell out and flew off before it hit the ground… (she can be evil and gentle…).

This time it was obvious the sparrow was done for, as Spice ran off before I could do anything. That’s nature for you… but…

…the sparrow was dropped as the four hens of the apocalypse sped down the garden, causing Spice to bolt.

The next thing I saw made me look twice… and keep looking in disbelief, as Chicken 11 grabbed the sparrow, then the four hens played tug of war, chase and catch with the sparrow, before taking it in turn to pick the carcass clean.

These are spoilt, well fed hens – but I’ve said it before about them – if there is something that can be eaten, regardless of if they are hungry, then they’ll eat it.

They are Omnipovores… Where ever there is something that can be eaten, then there you will find a hen…

I’ll never look at those dozy, daft, feathery, chirpy, psychopathic raptors the same way again…


Latest Cat Bite News

Monday saw me go to the Hospital as the pain was still a read b$%^&*. The infected area had also stopped reducing, so in accordance with my release instructions from Hospital last week I went in for a check up.

Blood tests and movement showed a good infection reduction to that point. The pain was suggested to be bone bruising, but unsure. I was then told to visit again Thursday (yesterday) for another check up. Meanwhile I was told that I didn’t need the sling or to keep my arm elevated all of the time.

Bradford Sling... still

Thursday – Ominous Hospital verdict:

Tendons & Wrist actions themselves seem okay… but inflammation & continued deep pain have pointed the Doctors to the following:-

Put arm back straight back in the sling and keep it upright.

Take another 10 days of top strength antibiotics.

Visit hospital Ortho-ward again next week.

Specialist Microbiologists mentioned.

Talk of surgery & flush raised it’s head again…

…So… Infection still a problem…

In linked news – Thank you Speedway Squad for not one, but two mentions in episodes 101 and 102.

I have no idea what I need to get mauled to make it three in a row…

.


Cat Attack – Photo Link and Twitter thanks

Hopefully, and if Facebook isn’t being a pain (yeah…. some hope….), then this link will take you to the photo’s surrounding my cat attack event and hospital visit.

So….FOR PHOTO’S CLICK HERE…maybe….

Thanks to all the Tweeters that kept me going through the (continuing) ordeal – and thanks to everyone else on Facebook, Text and in the flesh – Too many to mention.

The tweeters I shared my hospital bed with….

@drop4three @Drolgerg @Annjj @Boolbar @brynmorgan @CaminoHolidays @lowster @Mangowe @janetc413Nelso @noodlechett @Anglia_PA @VALENTINO_KING @Xenaclone @DaivRawks @thefuckingpope @flangelina @FlissTee @MinxITup @SerenityWorks @hang_check @rutitoottoots @hairlessheart @ngowers @XlilmissdeppX @feline9 @Shawnsewcrazy @pinwingirl @1Bibson @ScottyLikesCake @zafkhanjc @belindaang @troublebrother @srs11 @victoriark @belle_lulu @fudgecrumpet @Orchidflower @Care4Horsescom @LAH27 @appleblossombea @marathondog @raincoaster @ross_owen @noSPicedhAM @castewar @speedwaysquad @Aussiemandias @JennWebb @doriens @mrsfudgecrumpet @DaveMyers1 @SunnyNici @Dalevich @notjustmum @janeslee @VonOtter @red_lego_man @Spangila @balemar @pitstopmark @helengregory @xGallifreyGirlx @gillian_b @_lyraelson @lizgoingon @DarrenGriffin @Dolly61 @_NSL @crissyrob @ladyjanefairfax @widget53 @tylermassey @loopy_lala @moogyboobles @pixies_mum @ambernectar @Welshracer @AtteroIgnis @MillaJovovich @bobbyllew @suziperry @RichHL @warrenparkinson @herodian @lowster @eBeth @Twistedlilkitty @oneluvgurl @AliBee16 @JabberingJude @iknowitswinter @peekaywrites @_Bryony_ @AKGlass @mediacoach @dai_bach @sylv666 @Sheshel @KizzieAwful @Anflaw @bonnycross @KingofShaves @BenSmith9 @karenstrunks @DC_Zol @mediocre_mum @GrahamLawler @OlorinLorien @Moonchild66 @dartacus @h0llytweet @jojosim @victoriark @KazHall @linda01923 @michelledh @nannynick @ShoeGal007 @Gonk

Yup…. there’s a lot of them and they all rock! Cheers for the conversations and concern. I feel a very wealthy man for the number of people who stepped up to give me support.


Tomcat Down

Mobile blogging this from my hospital bed…

Saturday Night:
Chris goes out to a party. She hardly ever goes out (I don’t tie her up), so I really wanted her to have a good evening. It was fancy dress & she looked great!

Later that night:
All the cats have just come in. Before I get to lock the cat-flap I hear a thumping, crashing noise in the kitchen.

I go out & find a mean feral tomcat freaking out.

The first thing I thought was….
No one will believe the description of this cat! It’s a cacophony of the most evil cats ever drawn on cartoons!

It had one snake eye glazed in a white mist, a glaring black eye & a scar across its nose. Both ears were shredded & it was covered in dirt & mud. It’s growl was guttural & menacing…. It was a cat that would need to be toned down in a book or film because it was too unbelievable…

It was a cat that, had Sir Arthur Conan Doyle seen it, literature would of had “The Cat of the Baskervilles” in place of that, on comparison, soppy hound.

It was big. It may have had a Bulldog as a father…

It was mad… The cat flap was set to “In only” to get our cats in for the night. This had the effect of cornering the Hell Cat…

As I went into the kitchen, crouched down & arms out, to keep it in one place & to open the door for it (which would work for most cats), it went nucking futs.

It shot straight at my left arm (furthest from it!) and went to town, biting down hard on my wrist, to the bone. This was a new level of pain for me…

I pulled free… or tried to, but as most people with cats know, a cat with a fight in mind is like the bastard child of a Chinese finger trap and a garden wood chipper…

It span up and around my left arm, sinking its teeth in again, and kicked out tearing my right hand.

It let go & shot into the house. I gave chase & managed to get between it and the stairs. As cats run scared they go flat out with no care… claws out getting grip on whatever they can…No way was this git tearing up stairs and shredding my sleeping little Alex!

I managed to herd it back into the kitchen by using a blanket to fence it in.

I freed up the cat flap, grabbed some water & chucked it at the cat to make it bolt out of the door from its position on the kitchen shelves….(I was praying it wasn’t about to start flinging pits and pans at me!!!)

…. Success! The cat bolted…

I examined the damage… Shaken & still in severe pain from the bite.

I cleaned the wound up. It looked deep, but clean. I covered it with antiseptic cream & dressed it. I wasn’t about to call Chris & ruin her evening. If it got worse, then I’d call her.

Sunday Morning:
The bite has swollen a little, but looked mostly like bruising.

We took a trip to Frimley Park Hospital to get it checked out. The medic was surprised at the bite radius… and due to the nature of the wound I was given a Tetanus shot.

Medic said I’d done a good job with cleaning & dressing it (I should hope so! I’ve just re-qualified as a First Aider!), and told me to return in 24 hours for a further check up, as bites like this can turn bad quickly. I was given some heavy duty antibiotics and headed home.

Sunday Afternoon:
Wrist is painful to bend. Went for my usual cross country jaunt, but had to leave my Nordic poles at home as I couldn’t use them on the injured arm.

Sunday Night:
Couldn’t sleep as arm was throbbing. Put it this way, try slamming your fingers in a drawer… then keep doing that to the beat of your heart… and do it a bit harder each time so you don’t get used to it.

I was running a high temperature, but I put that down to a bug that Alex had just got over. Sleep wasn’t easy.

Monday Morning:
Standing in the bathroom I had sweat running off of me. I still put it down to a cold bug as I had a bad throat too.

I took a shower & noticed the bite was much bigger & redder…

We went to the Hospital for the check up…

One of the staff took my wrist & moved it up and down… something I really couldn’t do myself.

In two words: It Hurt.

Moments later a Doctor came in, saw the red mark (infection) had spread down my arm and said straight away I was to be kept in overnight.

The “these things can go bad very quickly” had happened.

How quick?

I was still in pain from my wrist manipulation and apparently weak from the infection spreading…

The Doctor went to put in the needle for my intravenous drips and to take samples from the line. I’m not keen on needles, but I don’t mind them and it’s really only the thought that makes me cringe…

The needle went in. I felt fine. I’ve had needles in me before – injections and giving blood, so no drama… but my head went light…

I told the Doctor I was becoming dizzy & nauseas. I was laid back & the dizzy became a 25 vodka shot drunken stupor…

I felt all energy drain from me, I became clammy (sticky, not shellfish like) & a cold sweat poured from my head. Chris said my skin went very pale & my lips turned white…

Thank God I’d done that First Aid re-qualification! As all these symptoms occurred I was mentally aware. I realised I was going into shock. Had I not realised this, then the experience would have scared the Hell out of me.

I lay horizontal for a while as my body spun back to speed, then was wheeled away to get my first IV of antibiotics.

After the first dose I was then placed into the Clinical Decision Unit (CDU) for observation overnight.

This is where you find me now… Laid up with my arm in an elevated sling to stop the infection tracking any further. A “Bradford Sling”… a sling that I am sure has been banned as cruel and unusual in the Geneva Convention.

I was going to wait until I got home to do a blog entry, but so many kind and curious friends in the flesh and in cyberspace wanted to know what’s been happening…

To all those who have followed this on Twitter and Facebook and given me support and best wishes, I thank the lot of you! You’ve kept my spirit up wonderfully!

To Chris and Alex – I love you loads and was so happy for your visits today (even when Alex played “poke daddy’s IV needaarrgghhh!”)

Peace out!

UPDATES

Tuesday Night:

I’m still in hospital – and feeling quite lucky really.

This morning a Surgeon tested the infection and became very aware it may have got into a tendon or two.

Straight away I had my food and water stopped. A drip was put in my arm and I was prepared for surgery for the night.

The surgery involved to clean the infection from the tendon is not for the faint hearted…

From elbow to hand on the back and front of the arm two cuts are made.

These are opened up so that the surgeon can flush through and wash out the infection.

The arm is dressed, but left un-stitched, for 24 hours at which point it is flushed out again, checked over and stitched.

Lots of follow up checks take place.

In really simple terms they peal my arm & jet wash it.

Midway through the day the Surgeon was encouraged by the reduced swelling and slight pain reduction. He was encouraged enough to postpone (in view of cancelling) the surgery.

That’s where I am now… In a slightly happier place… Schrodingers Cat Bite, so to speak…. Until it is checked tomorrow I am and am not having surgery…. Slightly ironic…

————————–

Latest News
Wednesday Morning:

Just had trippy 2 hours due to pain killers. I mean proper trippy….

I realise
d as soon as I took them that I was off to la la land, so whacked on Pink Floyd: The Wall, and just let it drift over me.

Vivid stuff… weird imagery…. Still half out, but had to
buck up as Ward Reg just did walk arounds.

Good news!

Surgeons & microbiologist came and checked me out.

They are happy with my range of movement and rate of swell reduction.

Pain in tendons has reduced & is now more focused around the actual puncture points.

Due to this I am to have one more IV antibiotic course and then tablets for 10 days. I also have to keep my arm raised in the Bradford sling still…. even at home, where I’m off to today….

Yes! I’m being released!

If things start to go backwards though, that operation will be waiting for me.

Thanks everyone for your continued support and messages. They really helped keep me positive through the most frightening experience I’ve encountered so far!

.


Fairytale of New York

Okay, X-Factor was knocked to the number 2 UK chart position for the Christmas number 1 single… beaten by a social networking pushed project – Rage Against The Machine took the number 1 spot as people stood up to the Cowell lead X-Factor machine.

The thing is it needed to be done – but no-one will argue that RATM’s song isn’t exactly “Christmassy”….

As such, just before Christmas I decided to push for a Christmas number 1 that is Christmassy…. and what could be better than “Fairytale of New York”….

FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK XMAS No.1 2010 and @FairytaleNY2010

Fairytale of New York has never been number 1 in the UK, yet is often voted as the best Christmas song out – so I figured it was about time we got it to number 1…

Added to this, it is the 10th anniversary of the sad and tragic death of Kirtsy MacColl, when she was hit by a speed boat in dive restricted waters whilst on holiday. This tragedy has never been properly resolved – and after 9 years of fighting for justice the case has finally run out of anywhere to go as the authorities have closed the door on it.

The day people will need to buy Fairytale of New York to make it count for a Christmas chart release is the day after the 10th anniversary of this untimely passing of Kirsty – so getting Fairytale of New York to number 1 will be a tribute, a return to a Christmassy song for Christmas, and another kick in the teeth to those that set up TV shows to force a manufactured number one.

Fairytale of New York is not a manufactured number one – Sure we will be pushing to get it there, but for over a decade it has been in the Christmas charts and it is a well loved song. It hasn’t just been made up to grab money for Simon Cowell…

This project is still in the initial stages, but much like RATM, we will be making sure Fairytale of New York does good. As such there will be a charity donation system set up. This will all be sorted as the project progresses.

I have contacted various people within The Pogues camp, and also to Kirsty MacColl’s mother. I would like them to be involved as this would be very important to the project.

There is a Facebook page set up : FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK XMAS No.1 2010

I won’t be able to do this on my own, so FTONY isn’t an “I” thing… it is a “WE” project – and I am currently being ably assisted by Phil Karn (met thanks to Twitter). There may be more people called in to help – and we’ll be grateful for any help!

I have started this group early as I want to build up the numbers of followers throughout the year. For most of the year the group will be a little quiet – just general chat and news – I don’t want people to burn out too soon!

As the time to buy draws near come November/December 2010 I shall then kick the group into action with group emails to ramp up the drive to get that number one spot.

You can also follow via Twitter with @FairytaleNY2010

If you want to get involved, you can email me at fairytale@sometimespace.com

Please spread the word!

Let’s get a Christmas song to Christmas number one – a song that has not been there before… and we can all remember Kirsty MacColl at the same time!

Thank you!



Things can only get better…

Do you remember the heady delights of my recent past ? I certainly do. Such memories!

Things slowly levelled out once I got my new job. After ending up with all cards, accounts and overdrafts maxed whilst trying to keep our heads above the water line I thought things were finally working out….

Sure, we’re living one month to the next whilst getting back on our feet, but we are in a position where we (thought) we could see light at the end of the tunnel – Oh how I laugh!

You see, the Almighty (must be one, because blind bad luck just isn’t this constructive) took me saying “At least it can’t get any worse…” as a challenge. As per usual, the Omnipotent one has been playing with a marked deck….

I got a trip to America recently with the new company – It was business, but so cool too! A new experience for me. On the weekend of my return some numpty idiot driver decided to try and drive through a solid object… that object being my wife and Alex in Bernie¬† (The Berlingo….. not my idea…).

That wrote the car off, so we had to get another car…. bear in mind we live from month to month with no spare cash…..

During the time the claim was being investigated we were supplied a courtesy car – a rather lovely Golf TDi… We were told that once the claim was settled we would have the car for 8 days after receiving the money so we had time to buy a new car… 8 days… that’s a bit of a push!

The Golf TDi... I want one!

The Golf TDi... I want one!

After the fuss of claiming for the car crash (the other party admitted it all) we finally had the cheque sent to us… BUT we were then told that the courtesy car had to go back 8 days after the claim was settled…. which means settled – post cheque – 3 days -, clear cheque – 5 days, have money to buy car… 8 days after settling… HANG ON… that’s the day we give the courtesy car back! We have just one day to buy a car!

I dropped Chris at work last weekend and my Mother in Law came up to help look after Alex as we toured car lots looking for cars. I didn’t want to go private as I only had enough money for a deposit until the cheque cleared, and I also wanted some warranty – so trade sales were the way forward.

As I only had the day to buy a car, I decided to look for 2 types of car. A long distance car for me, or a town car for Chris. We need two cars, so at least if I could get one of those I’d be in a better position – and it gave me double the options on my 1 day shopping trip…

The first car I looked at was okay… the place it was being sold from was okay…. and then we checked out a list of other cars throughout the whole day…..

Each new place had a dodgier car and dodgier sales people…. it was futile! We ended up at some guys house. He had three cars in various states of dirt, grime and rust… and a big old scar on his face…. he seemed honest enough, I’ll give him that, but I just didn’t feel this was right… not from his driveway instead of a sales lot!

A Cowboy yesterday

A Cowboy about to sell a car yesterday

So the day ended with me planning to go back to that very first car… much like a lady going shoe shopping….. Spend all day and then choose shoe number 1….

All the places had shut, so I would have to go back to car number one the following day. All that was left to do was to pick Chris up from work.

On the way back from her work I decided to take a 2 minute detour to pass a place I knew from years ago – a place I had bought a car from before….

YES!!! You are right!!! There wasn’t one available.

We drove off……

… only to find Farnham Carriage Company on the same road… a place I didn’t know existed…a supermarket car park sized lot full of cars!!!

It was closed, but unlocked so we took a walk around. Nothing…. until we realised the cars carried on around the corner of the lot and into the distance… and still nothing…. until we saw a small purple Ford Fiesta…..

57,000 miles on the clock. Spotless interior. All original. Engine bay was spotless – even the fabric wadding under the bonnet was in mint condition! All that for ¬£995…..

I called the guy and said I’d be back….

We pick “Filbert” up tomorrow….

“Hurrah!” I hear you cry! Things are working out for you! A random chance at a random place and you spot a car! Bravo….

Yes… you’d be right to think that…. but the wise would think that this must just be a part of a greater plan to set me up for a fall… Offer me a chair and then whip it away as I sit down…

Thursday night We settle down to go to bed. I have the Doctors the next day as I have a really bad ear ache (5 days, getting worse… lots of pain – silly to go to work as I was dizzy and really not thinking straight – but I work through stuff that isn’t contagious.. if I can).

At 1.30am Chris notices the bed is wet… and it isn’t either of us (yet) or the mental pussy cat that sleeps at that spot…… a glance at the ceiling shows it bulging down a good 4 inches… dripping away….

Trouble - The Mental Pussy Tat - (Blergh)

"Trouble" - The Mental Puddy Tat

OH CARP!!!

I quickly go into the loft (for the first time in ages) and see sodden wood frames and a dripping ball cock valve… I quickly wrap tape tightly around the valve to stem he drip… but really… this little drip is nothing…. it’s the time it has been dripping that was the problem…

Chris calls out that she needs to change buckets (as she was on bucket duty in the bedroom… drip catching). She says severla leaks have started… it only takes a slight touch and another leak appears…. the ceiling is on the very edge of letting go…

I run to Alex’s room, tip all of his toys from a huge toy bucket (half a bath size.. lots of noise, yet he carried on snoring!) and put it under the massed holes. Chris held it as I went rapidly stabbing the lowest part of the bulge…

A good 15 Gallons of dirty, fibre glass, wood, nails and plaster brown stinking water rushed out of the golf ball sized hole….

Further inspection in the loft showed that it was a matter of seconds before the ceiling would have collapsed… the whole panel was sodden and pulp.

Swollen Wood

I shut the water off outside (we didn’t have a tool at first…. then realised that last year the shut off was changed to a modern unti that can be done by hand….). Flushed the toilet, let taps run… released as much weight and water from the loft as possible.

Chris called up the Lloyds TSB Premier customer hotline as we have emergency cover with them….. they couldn’t get a guy out until 8am!!! NICE! That’s emergency for you….

I felt rubbish. It was 3.30am, I was coughing due to the damp and fibreglass. My ear was pounding…Sleep was near impossible so I chatted a while on Twitter whilst Chris got some shut eye. The wonderful ShoeGal007 chatted with me for a while and kept me sane. Twitter is such a lifesaver at times. As I’ve said before, it’s like a big social gathering of friends, colleagues and the Yellow pages! If you want to know something, then you just ask – or you can just chat away!

I got to sleep and shortly woke to go to work… but it didn’t take long to realise that that wasn’t going to happen. Admitting defeat I called in… I wasn’t happy.

A further call to Lloyds TSB and we found the next emergency plumber would be available after lunch, and not at 8am…. so I cancelled him. I had seen where the leak was, and knew it was a two minute job.

See…. It can’t get any worse….

We went out and brought a 12p washer…. and the job was done. All that was left was the wrecked ceiling, sodden storage boxes in the loft and the mouse poop….

WHAT? Mouse poop?

Yup… after the flood I noticed nibbled boxes in the loft space…. and clucters of mouse poop everywhere. Of we went to get mouse traps and sonic repellents to try and fix that problem…

No idea yet as to what the next move will be. We have insurance assessors due to look at the damaged ites, and surveyoys to check out the building itself, but then I don’t know…. I’ve never been here before!

I’ve never claimed any insurance before in my life until the last 3 weeks….. then house and car come along at once!

I’ll tell you what though – I’m not even going to hint at “Things can only get better…” because I’m sure some all seeing being will just take me up on that challenge….


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